“we’re connected”

a few years back, i met this guy at work. he seemed nice the first time i met him, but i didnt think we’d ever talk outside of work, and if we did it would be about the rota and who had the keys for the next morning. i never expected anything like this.

he said we were connected, and it freaked me out. he would come out with the most beautiful things, but they scared me. one night he invited me to his house, and said he would  make me the best seafood i’d ever tasted (i love seafood) and “we could sit on the roof and look at the stars and sh*t”. he seemed unreal. we spoke about angels, and he suggested that he might be mine, or i might be his, and nothing made me want to run further away.

it scared me how within 36hours it seemed like i’d know him for 36years, and like i could spend another 36 with him; reading the economist; talking about angels and arguing the existence of God – i for and he against; talking about the chinese; laughing at americans and despising the wealthy french; getting lost in indie music; drinking espressos, frappuccinos, and cider, and walking down down oxford street.

i had never met anyone like him before. i had never met anyone it was so easy and natural to be around. it was so easy to be around him that i had to work so hard to keep myself guarded because it had only been 36hours at best. nothing had ever been this intensely and beautifully platonic. “if you never find someone amazing like you, you and i could get married. we would be great together” he said. i agreed to it because we really could.

3 years down the line and it feels like i’ve known him for 3centuries. we still argue about the existence of God, and he still comes out with beautiful things. everywhere we go, people still think we’re together, even if i haven’t got my arm linked through his, or my head on his shoulder. and now when he talks about angels and being connected, i don’t freak out because i get it. we’re connected, it makes sense.

there are some people you will meet that will repulse you, or that require considerable time and effort to get to know or to get to even like. some people in this world you will know forever but will never like. and some people, you will meet and you won’t even have to try because you’re “connected”. there’s no need to connect or be connected because you already are.

somehow he knew it before i did, and saw his other half in me. he saw the black female counterpart to his white male being.  or maybe he brainwashed me into believing that our polar opposites were joined in the middle – the happy Jesus loving hippie meets the adamant atheist. or maybe we romaticize our friendship and make it seem more than it really is.. but everyone sees it too. we’re not destined to fall in love, but we were made to be together – sitting on a roof, eating seafood and watching the cardiff sky full of stars that are out for us. we’re connected.




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