i can’t wait!

i can’t wait to find that way out! not the one i keep finding, because that one always seems to be the worst route. it’s always crowded, and i always end up taking the exit that gets me on that street where everything looks the same. and i find myself lost and going back into the station, and back underground so i can find another exit. so i find myself sitting at the same bench again, not even waiting for a train.

i want to find that way out that will make me smile when i reach the exit, instead of turn back because i’ve been down this route before, and i know how it ends – with me coming back, because that street isn’t where i want to be. so, i don’t want to look at what i’ve left behind, because to be fair, sitting on a bench underground and watching trains go past leaves a lot to be desired.

i want to be so damn happy to get out that my oyster card won’t tap me out fast enough, and i’ll be pushing through those barriers because they’re too damn slow and won’t let me go! it fills me up with excitement just thinking about it, because i’ve been at this station for too long. i want to get out at an exit i’ve never come out of before, and be greeted with an unseen scene. maybe i’ll be so excited i’ll run into a business man and make him spill his cup coffee all over his new suit, and he’ll spend his day so pissed off at me. but i won’t notice that i made him spill hot coffee on himself because i’ll be too excited that i found my way out.  it will be like i’m rushing out to something special, but i won’t. it’ll just be because i’ll be out.

since i haven’t found that way out yet, i’ve decided i’ll just stay here until the crowd thins out, and it’s not so hard to get up out of this station. because i keep taking the same broken escalators, and my legs start to hurt. and i keep walking down that loooong winding tunnel that leads me to the same stupid exit i keep turning back from! that route is the same one i keep taking and frankly, i’m too tired to take it again. so yeah, i’m riding this one out on the next working escalator and finding my way out. this time i won’t follow the same signs i followed last time, so i won’t end up coming back here. and i’m telling you, i can’t wait!



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