“dealing with a woman is like dealing with a mortgage”

“you can’t buy my love”.

i hate when people, especially women in relationships use that statement. it’s usually after an argument and he’s trying to win back her affections, and she’s just trying to be difficult. in my mind the “bullshxt” sirens keep ringing as they go on about how perfume, flowers, chocolates and dinner won’t buy their love, all the while forgetting that the reason they love him to begin with is because he paid.

in the modern world, we women like to believe that we cannot be bought, because for centuries we’ve been sold on to be mothers, wives and part of the household. so now in the 21st century we sit on high barstools and turn our noses up and say we can’t be bought, when really the exchange is less harsh now and the exchange of goods doesn’t feel as degrading as it did before.

he paid the moment he paid attention when she was playing coy and trying not to respond to those text messages too quickly, or avoided answering those first two calls. he was paying attention when he noticed all those little things that made her insides turn up and smile, in return for a little of her attention.

and with a little of her attention he bought himself time, whilst acquiring the units to spend time with her. and hopefully with all the effort he put in he might get more than a hug this time when he leans in for a kiss, or she might open up her mind to him. or maybe he’ll be able to pay off the guards at her heart. or, at the very least she’ll respond to his messages sooner than she did before!

the more time he spent, the more she let him in, until that night where she let him stay on her mind. he was no longer a frequent visitor, but a permenent resident on her mind. eventually the guards knew his face and they stepped aside, and let him use his master key to her heart.

but like with a mortgage, he has to keep making payments otherwise she will be repossessed. so he brings in the chocolates he knows she adores, or he might get her those shoes she’s been talking about. or maybe he dips into his emotional reserve and splashes out a little. either way, he has to make a payment.

and then comes that one fight when the hershey’s kisses don’t kiss her lips in the same way they used to, and the flowers no longer smell as sweet. and then she comes out with some next bullshxt like “you can’t buy your way back”. and he pauses and thinks to himself, “wait a minute, that’s what i’ve been doing all this time.”

“all this attention i paid you left an attentional deficit in every part of my life. but i’m not complaining because attention paid to you is attention well paid. and all the time spent so i could at least get a parking permit outside your heart? and you want to say i can’t “buy” my way back when buying seems to be all i’ve been doing? and all the attention, the time and the money spent is only the half of it, because i’m invested and you hold all of my assets. y0u hold my heart and i can’t really go anywhere without that. and most of the time, you have my head because i can’t seem to think or do anything else but you related things. you don’t realise, but i’ve been paying from the get go.”



One thought on ““dealing with a woman is like dealing with a mortgage”

  1. This reminds of angry tweets that I used to love reading, I kinda miss em. Beautifully written and you went church on it for real. I think everyone should read this. Seriously! Another masterpiece.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s