day #8: what you ate today
the papers, and the magazines, and the television, and the books, and the blogs, and the facebook statutes, and the tweets. they all say that the modern woman should want nothing but to focus on herself and on her career.
she said to be extremely ambitious, and the only men she has time for are those that bend to the will of her diary. she has no time for relationships. she just “f*cks and goes” to ensure that feeling have no time to attach. after all, she only needs his tools, not his presence or his love.
she’ll have children but not right now. business and the self come first. so a cat may do since they tend to take care of themselves anyway. there’s plenty of time for all of that other stuff anyway. and if the time on the biological clock runs out, then so be it, she has her career to distract her from dwelling on her regrets of not settling down sooner.
oh and the silk and the cashmere from her expensive wardrobe will make it feel better. and her nice car will help to drive those regrets away…
and then there’s me…
wanting the title of the modern woman, running most areas of my life like the contemporary lady, and wanting the rewards of the 21st century woman.
me, fighting the traditional roles that i sometimes can’t help but want to fill. me, fighting dreams of owning a home and a family of my own. a husband to get annoyed with because his socks are all over the place, and kids to make up stories for so they eat up the ‘tiny trees’ (brocolli) on their plates. cakes to bake and roast to make. it could be beautiful.
and then a career. a career i want, and a career i would love. a career i’ve worked so hard to begin. a career that would have to be placed on the back-burner, if i stick to these betty crocker, happy home-maker dreams of mine..
..i made a meat loaf for my family for dinner last night, and an apple crumble for dessert – all from scratch. in the back of my mind, i couldn’t help but think, ‘i can’t wait to do this in my own house’. but these thoughts, these are thoughts that must be kept in the back of the mind of a woman with ambition and plans…