the trouble is i care too much when i shouldn’t

challenge #26 : things you like and dislike about yourself

i care, a little too much sometimes. but can you ever really care too much? it’s like love. you could never have too much, or have just there really a limit to how much you can care for someone? why should there be, even when they don’t seem worth caring for?

i guess it’s because we are such defensive creatures that we always see it in our best interests to save ourselves before we try to save others. before we reach other to give a helping hand, we must make sure that all is well with us first.

and if it seems that we’re risking a little more than is comfortable, we should retreat immediately, no matter how much that other person might need us. no matter how much saving that person needs, even if they don’t want to be saved.

but i can’t stop caring. it’s like a switch i’ve tried to switch off so many times. but i think my wiring is faulty, and my heart unravels when i come across someone in need, and it just wants to wrap them up and keep them safe, give them something they don’t have, help them to get to that place where the earth won’t swallow them up.

but then sometimes – when it’s most important to care – for some reason i won’t reach out far enough for long enough because suddenly something overrides this caring mechanism, and all i know is self preservation..



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