summertime sadness

to miss a moment is to miss something you never really had, and they say you cannot miss what you never had.

for a moment is no more than a passing happening that dances out of reach too quickly to be grasped, or held..

a fleeting moment that passes too quickly to be missed.

and most of us never miss moments. we flirt with the idea of moments growing into tangible memories, but our hearts never shrivel and sink, and the light of our souls never dims because we miss a moment. not like mine does now.

we delight in the faint memory of their beauty, and that faint memory of a momentary feeling of excitement and awe, and we wish we could relive that second over and over, but we never miss it.

like the moment of childlike awe that overwhelms your soul as you stare out at the scattered golden stars of the earthflying over a city just before dawn, when the ground below is embellished with tiny orange and yellow twinkling stars.

no device can capture that feeling of wonderment and serenity for it to be relived again. and no memory can store that sort of feeling with all it’s intricacies and subtle intensity. and no heart attempts to cling on to that moment of beauty as it quickly departs. there is no urgent need to relive it, and it’s sudden passing is accepted without complaint and without chasing.

it’s as if our souls know it is meant to be just for that moment, so they live and love that moment with no hesitation, and in the same way they let it go.

and in the same way, i too am aware that it was just a moment. a beautiful moment that’s been intended to be no more than a beautiful memory that will never be remembered with the clarity of which it happened – if remembered at all.

strangely my soul won’t let this moment pass with such ease. i would like to savour the remnants of the taste of it in my mouth, and the feel its fullness against my skin. the beautiful sight of it and the sound that gently coos against my ear drum.

and even if the scent lingered for just a moment longer, i think that would do me and my soul just fine. it doesn’t need to be forever, just a little longer. just a moment and another hour would do me just fine.

but perhaps its the knowledge that they are fleeting and passing that makes moments as precious as they are. and maybe if it had been for a second, a minute, or an hour longer, it wouldn’t have been as beautiful as i remember it to be. and maybe i’d wouldn’t wish for it to be even just a second longer.



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