consistency: part i

“what is the one quality that you look for in a partner?” we’ve all heard this question before, and maybe every now and again we’ve had to answer it. perhaps during those ‘get to know each other’ conversations with that prospective someone.

with that question we some use their clever and sometimes tactically constructed response to tick and strikeout the criteria we’ve mentally listed for the potential soul mate.

with the hope that i may have found the one who doesn’t make me lose all faith in humanity like the others, (because we’re all not naive enough to believe that the perfect one actually exists, or perhaps i hope you are all as cynical and pragmatic as i am) i may never have to answer this question ever again.

but in the case that i may have to think up something blunt but not riddled with scars from previous failed attempts (as i like to call them), i’ll answer the question here with the hope that the next time i have to answer it, i can copy and paste sections of this into our future whatsapp conversation.

consistency [kənˈsɪstənsɪ], consistence


1. agreement or accordance with facts, form, or characteristics previously shown or stated
2. conformity with previous attitudes, behaviour, practice, etc.


consistency is the quality i find myself looking for in that potential someone. believe it or not, knowing that a the sincere, down to earth, and intelligent person i’d met won’t turn into a lying, muderous, whoring, maniac, appeals to me.

the human race can’t afford for my cynical (but hopelessly romantic) heart to become any more cynical of this whole love thing.

i want to fall in love with someone i can trust to still have the qualities i initially fell for. i know already know that the exterior will change dramatically, and that pristine hairline he has won’t last forever. i don’t need the things that really matter to blow away with the wind.

i want someone i can trust to actually miss me when he tells me he misses me, and someone i can believe when he tells me he loves me, because his actions and his words are consistent with each other. people spew out meaningful words with such reckless abandon, and i don’t think i could invest in someone who spews out sweet nothings without eventually turning into Martha Stewart.

i don’t want just sweet words at the right time. i want actions, behaviours, and moods that aren’t scattered all over the place – i’m not your psychotherapist.

i just want to know what i’m getting, and that it won’t change. i want to know what i’m investing my time and energy in won’t change, because falling in love isn’t as effortless as the phrase suggests. and even if it were, the time and energy lost climbing out of the pit of disillusion after you’ve fallen for the wrong one is too precious to lose.

and it’s not that i want for the sake of wanting. i want because i know what i am like in love – consistently selfless, and consistently overflowing with love in its every manifestation.



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