i’ve been wrestling with the idea of true monogamy for a while now – does it truly exist? has it ever really existed? it’s no wonder why the article heading “monagamy is like being on atkins in a patisserie” instantly captivated my attention as i browsed through one of my favourite magazines and left my lunch to go ice cold.
i’m an old romantic constantly being reminded that the new age doesn’t hold the same “til death do us part” values as the previous ages did. and even then, i’m reminded that the value of monogamy is culturally subjective, and has changed as often as the winds have changed, and as generations came and departed.
so where has this notion of one soul belonging with only one other soul come from if throughout history humans have been incapable of simply belonging to one person? culturally, if anything, i am almost supposed to expect to accept polygamy or polyamory. even socially, we have slowly had our minds rewired to expect polygamy or polyamory in any relationship that we enter into. we are to expect to be disappointed when the actions of the one we love do not match the words that they say. either that, or simply “be okay” with being in a relationship that’s more like a social network of intimacy than anything else.
it appears as though monogamy was created for something (i.e. social stability), rather than out of love, and slowly we have been conditioned to believe that monogamy is innate in us all. have love, relationship, marriage, and family been so Disneyfied that their reality is intangible?
i wish i had more than just faith and a few examples from some of my own family to maintain my belief that monogamy is real, and not a social construct. perhaps we were never meant for just one person. surely that makes sense considering how the human race likes to murder one another, thus rendering one individual soul-mate-less. perhaps monogamy once was truly born out of love, before evil reared it’s ugly head. but the, that’s going back so far it might as well not exist.
i fear that all those that are the face of monogamy-is-us hide secrets that would show them up as living a lie. now imagine how that affects a truly romantic soul such as mine?
i want to believe in a soul mate and someone that i have loved outside of time and space. i want to believe in love, marriage, family, and mostly, loyalty and commitment that is not constructed by our fickle society and superstitious traditions.