I feel a part of you in me, and as if there is a part of me in you. My thoughts, wishes, dreams, and the perspectives that make up the little important parts of me reflect brilliantly in you as if they were your own.
Mirrored brilliantly and brightly as they would if I looked into the depths of my soul.
Somewhere in eternity, where we are life giving masses waiting to exist in time and space- we were – no, we are particles of the same eternal life giving star.
And even on this earth, in this time, and in this space, we are but pieces of the same star. Dimming and brightening our glow as we pass and near each other.
We set alight when our energies near and we are connected through intensely vibrating atoms. Our spectrum of light fiercely bright and burning holes in space and time that even our naive time bound consciousness takes note.
Consciously unknowing and intrinsically certain without the shadow of a doubt – We were – we are a part of the same star outside of space and time. A part of the same life giving beginning and full of life even as mere pieces of a star on this time bound planet.
A very insightful piece from someone who, from the outside looking in, looks like he truly has it together.
It’s been a pretty uneventful week; well, uneventful as far as writing goes for me anyway. I’ve had a crazy case of the writer’s block, its kind of like chlamydia, but worse. Instead of feeling like I’m pissing razor blades, my mind feels like I’ve been listening to Plies speak on loop all day. I don’t think I have enough RAM up there for all that. Not that I would know what pissing with the clap feels like by the way. Chlamydia is the clap right? Or is it syphilis? Wikipedia says that it’s gonorrhoea, who cares what Wikipedia has to say when I can ask my friend Vi…, you know what, lets forget about that one.
After a long day of watching Omar (The Wire) testify and talk about shooting the boy Mike Mike in his hind parts, and looking after my little brother and his annoying little friend…
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I would have travelled half the world merely to spend time with you – literally. Spent hundreds of Great British Pounds and 14 to 19 hours flying through continents, over seas, through deserts, over jungles, and snow covered mountain tops. Through time zones and seasons – just to lay eyes on you.
You. A mere you.
I would have made excuses to justify 3 weeks spent in a different country, reacquainting with a language, just to probably end up spending a crappy total 5 days with you. Justify time away from money to take time to spend money to buy time to be with you.
Silly, isn’t it. All of this, just for you.
Silly, really, in a real world that provides us with a virtual world that brings you closer to me, and me closer to you. With Skype, and Viber, and Whatsapp, and Instagram, and Twitter..! You would think that’s more than enough you to me.
Not for me. That wouldn’t do.
I want your undistorted voice, your unfiltered face, your uncensored and grammatically imperfect thoughts. I want that connection that’s unachievable over wi-fi. That mental and spiritual sync. The kind that synced you and I before the frothy beer spilt out of my glass, and before the shared taxi ride home.
I want to teach you how to kiss me. Properly, this time.
Maybe it’s the oceans and millions of trees between us. Maybe that’s what it is that makes it hard to feel how much you actually do care. I mean, like you say you do. I want to feel how much you miss me, like when you say you do. You know, prove it, like that saying about actions and words..
I would have travelled the world to be with you. Literally, physically, romantically, and metaphorically too.
I dreamt of you last night and I swear it was the worst thing ever. You were more beautiful than you are in real life, just like I have always seen you.
You sauntered in, with no real sense of urgency, like you always do. Perhaps it’s so that everyone in the room can really take you in. Or perhaps my mind goes into overdrive and heats up my system, so it’s all slow motion when I’m around you.
I smelt you as if you’d doused my pillow with cologne before I went to bed. Oh god, how I curse the accuracy of my memories when it comes to you.
I dreamt of you last night and I swear it was the worst thing ever..